Trauma-informed Grief Counselling
Grief is a natural and valid response to loss, whatever form that loss takes: the death of someone you love, the end of a relationship, a miscarriage or abortion, changes in health or career, or something harder to name, a lost sense of identity, safety, or a future you’d imagined. Trauma-informed grief counselling recognizes these many layers, and how earlier life experiences or trauma can shape how you grieve now.
Have you noticed how some losses feel harder to talk about? Some types of grief are often overlooked or minimized. This is called disenfranchised grief: grieving the loss of a friendship, a queer or same-sex partner, a pet, a miscarriage, an estranged family member, or other deeply personal losses that others may not understand or acknowledge. These losses can feel isolating, especially when they aren’t recognized within your community or culture.
My approach to grief counselling sees these social patterns and honours all grief, including the kind that gets left unspoken.
The interconnection between trauma and loss
Trauma and grief are deeply connected. You might be grieving not only external losses but also loss of trust, connection, or parts of yourself. If you’ve experienced trauma before, your grief may feel more complex and can resurface with new losses or life transitions. That’s why I integrate trauma-informed care into my grief counselling approach, to support you holistically.
While many find ways to navigate grief on their own, there are times when it lingers or feels overwhelming, affecting how you function day to day.
Benefits of online trauma-informed grief counselling
When you work with me, you’ll experience support that goes beyond traditional grief counselling. Here’s what becomes possible:
Find your ground again
Grief doesn’t just touch your heart, it can shake your nervous system, sometimes pushing you beyond what feels manageable. You might notice anxiety, numbness, or waves of intense emotions that come out of nowhere. Together, we’ll help you gently widen your “window of tolerance,” that space where you can stay grounded and present even when feelings run high. You’ll learn to recognize when your nervous system is activated and develop gentle ways to return to stability.
Process painful memories
Through EMDR integrated into grief counselling, you can process the most painful memories connected to your loss: the moment you got the news, the last conversation, the funeral, the empty spaces where your loved one used to be. EMDR helps these memories lose their sharp edges. You’ll still remember, but the memories won’t overwhelm you the way they once did.
Reconnect with yourself
Grief can disconnect you from your sense of self, leaving you wondering who you are without the person or thing you’ve lost. My approach helps you reconnect with your inner voice and strengths, rebuilding self-trust, confidence, and inner stability. You’ll rediscover parts of yourself that grief may have buried, and find ways to honour both your loss and your continued life.
Build authentic connections
Loss can strain relationships or leave you feeling isolated in your grief. You’ll develop the ability to communicate your needs, set boundaries around your grieving process, and rebuild healthy connections with others who may not fully understand what you’re going through. You’ll also learn to navigate the complicated dynamics that often arise around loss: family tensions, unhelpful advice, or the loneliness of grieving something others don’t acknowledge.
Create meaning and move forward
Healing from grief doesn’t mean forgetting or “getting over” your loss. It means integrating the loss into your life story in a way that allows you to move forward while still honouring what and who you’ve lost. You’ll explore what this loss means, how it’s changed you, and how to create a life that holds both the pain of loss and the possibility of joy, purpose, and connection.
Meet Natalie
I’m Natalie Jovanic, a trauma counsellor and complex trauma coach with over 15 years of experience supporting people through grief, trauma, and loss. I also bring lived experience of navigating significant grief, which informs my understanding of how loss reshapes your world.
My approach, the Integrative Trauma Recovery Model™, integrates EMDR, IFS-informed parts work, somatic approaches, and boundary work to address the emotional, physiological, and relational impacts of grief. Grief counselling is available in Western Canada. If you live outside this area and are interested in this service, feel free to reach out to explore options. Income-based variable pricing available.
My approach to healing grief
What is trauma-informed grief counselling?
My work is rooted in polyvagal theory, which explains how your nervous system reacts to feelings of safety and threat. Have you noticed moments when the pain of grief felt too overwhelming, and anxiety rose to meet it? Or times when you felt completely numb and disconnected? These are natural nervous system responses to loss, not signs that something is wrong with you.
Understanding these reactions helps you make sense of sudden panic, withdrawal, or disconnection, while learning new ways to soothe yourself. I help you work with your nervous system rather than fighting against it.
This work is built on safety, trust, transparency, and collaboration. You maintain choice and control throughout, and I honour your culture, history, and identity as integral to your healing process. My approach also integrates anti-oppressive practice, recognizing that grief is often shaped by systemic harm, discrimination, and the losses that come with it. I hold myself accountable to this, not as a claim but as an ongoing commitment. You can read my full Inclusive Trauma Recovery framework to see exactly how I approach this.
EMDR for grief: processing painful memories
One of the tools I use in grief counselling is EMDR. While traditionally known for trauma therapy, EMDR is remarkably effective for processing the traumatic aspects of loss, the moments and memories that feel frozen in time and continue to cause acute pain.
EMDR can help you process traumatic memories connected to your loss (painful memories of an illness before the death, the social context that increased the pain of it, the moment of death, saying goodbye), reduce the emotional intensity of painful memories without losing your connection to your loved one, work through complicated grief that feels stuck, address earlier losses or traumas complicating your current grief, and release the “stuck” quality of grief so it can flow more naturally.
You don’t have to verbalize every painful detail for EMDR to work. Your brain does much of the processing itself, and you keep control over the pace and depth of the work.
Parts work for complex grief
I also integrate IFS-informed parts work to help you understand and heal the different aspects of yourself that respond to loss. You might notice a part that wants to stay strong for others, a part that’s angry at the loss, a part that feels guilty for moving forward, and a part that just wants to collapse in pain. Working with these parts helps you find internal harmony and move through grief with more integration.
It’s your time to heal: Let’s begin
If this approach resonates with you, I’d be glad to connect. I offer a free consultation so you can explore your options and see whether working together makes sense. Book through my secure online booking system or message me at nat@brighthorizontherapies.com.