Creating Healthier Relationships

You’ve read the advice. Use “I statements.” Don’t stonewall. Watch for criticism, defensiveness, and contempt. You’ve tried. Maybe you’ve read the books, gone to couples therapy, practiced the scripts until you could recite them in your sleep. And it still doesn’t work. Here’s what most relationship advice won’t say: if your criticism, your defensiveness, your…

If you have experienced childhood abuse, this article may not go deep enough. I invite you to listen to the episode “Boundaries for Adults with Childhood Trauma.“ As you read, I invite you to pause and check in with your body. Notice what resonates — and feel free to set aside what doesn’t. You are…

This healthy boundaries quiz gives you a snapshot of your current boundary-setting skills — where you feel confident, and where there might be room to grow. It’s a tool for self-reflection, not a diagnostic instrument. What it can do is help you get curious about your patterns — and point you toward areas worth exploring….

Years ago, I learned in a training: “Boundaries need to be communicated.” As a survivor of childhood abuse, I clung to this rule. I was so eager to heal that I never questioned it — never asked whether it was always useful, or whether context might change everything. That unquestioning compliance was probably its own…