Question 1

Do I need to remember my trauma for EMDR to work?

Accepted Answer

No. Many adults with childhood trauma have no explicit memories — no story they can tell, no clear narrative of what happened. What they have instead are body sensations, overwhelming emotions, and automatic reactions that arrive without context. They are often activated if there’s a similar situation in the present.

The younger you were when the trauma happened, the less likely you are to have explicit memories. And yet that is enough to begin. It's also worth keeping in mind that not all trauma is connected with violence. Some people carry deep attachment wounds from experiences like being separated from their caregiver as an infant, due to surgery, illness, or other necessary interventions. And yet for the young child, the separation felt like a threat to survival - because they can’t rationally comprehend the situation. That response can leave lasting traces that show up in adulthood without any conscious memory of what happened.

Trauma is often stored as fragments — an image, a physical sensation, a persistent feeling of unsafety — disconnected from any coherent story. EMDR works directly with what the body and mind are holding. You don't need to remember the explicit event. Your body and mind hold what needs to be healed. I often use EMDR with parts that hold wounds in the present, without going back to past memories. This is easier for folks to stay in the present and work with it.

It's also worth knowing that you don't need to share the details of what happened with me. For sensitive experiences — sexual abuse, rape, experiences that feel too painful or shameful to put into words — you can choose how much you disclose. The healing doesn't require you to recount it. It requires your body and mind to process what they've been carrying. Those are different things.

Read more: Online complex trauma counselling

Question 2

Is EMDR safe for childhood trauma?

Accepted Answer

It can be — when the foundation is right. The challenge is that EMDR as a standalone approach isn't enough to work with attachment wounds or build the somatic awareness that trauma recovery requires — including reconnecting with your body's signals around needs and boundaries.

Most research on EMDR focuses on memory processing, which is real and significant - but part of Stage 2 of trauma recovery. What it doesn't capture is the preparation phase and what's needed to heal inner fragmentation, dissociation, disconnection from self and body, and the impact of insecure attachment. Generally, the more complex your experience of trauma — by which I mean ongoing relational harm like childhood abuse, domestic violence, or systemic oppression rather than a single incident — the more likely you'll benefit from an approach that integrates modalities.

My training extends beyond basic EMDR training to working with parts, implicit memories, and somatic awareness — which is what childhood trauma actually requires. This includes using EMDR to heal implicit memories that exist only as body sensations and emotions, without a conscious narrative. This can be especially useful since many adults with childhood trauma can't remember specific events.

When the preparation is right, when parts have given genuine consent, and when the pacing respects your nervous system's actual capacity, EMDR can reach what years of talk therapy or CBT often cannot. The question isn't whether EMDR is safe. It's whether the approach being delivered is safe for you specifically.

Read more: My approach to trauma counselling, the Integrative Trauma Recovery Model™.

Question 3

Will EMDR make things worse?

Accepted Answer

It can — if it moves too quickly or without appropriate preparation. For childhood trauma specifically, the nervous system needs a foundation before memory processing begins. Without it, EMDR can destabilize rather than settle. That's why I don't use EMDR as a standalone approach. Integrating it with parts work and somatic approaches isn't a preference — it's what makes it safe and effective the more complex your traumatic experience is. Read more: What is trauma?

It's also worth naming something that can feel like things getting worse, but isn't. If you have been numb for a long time — if numbness has been your baseline — starting to feel more can feel uncomfortable, even alarming. That's not deterioration. That's often about a protective part starting to step down. It's natural that you feel more emotion if this happens. Learning to manage emotions, even overwhelming ones or trauma responses, is part of the work.

If destabilization happens, it's not a sign you've failed or can't heal. It's a sign to take a step back — return to parts work or somatic approaches, stabilize, and rebuild the foundation. Healing is iterative, not a straight line. The more complex the trauma, the slower the pace needs to be. Read more: IFS or EMDR for Complex Trauma

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