TL;DR (If you’re overwhelmed, read this first)
If you’ve tried IFS or EMDR for complex trauma and felt like you failed—you didn’t. The approach failed to meet you. Complex trauma requires a flexible combination of modalities (parts work, somatic practices, nervous system regulation, EMDR, and relational support), not a single “best” method. Look for a counsellor who can adapt to what you and your body need in each moment, not one loyal to a single model. With the right support, healing is possible with patience and persistence.
A survivor and counsellor’s perspective
If you’ve experienced complex trauma, you probably know the particular exhaustion of trying therapy after therapy and still feeling stuck. The approach that transformed your friend’s life leaves you feeling worse. Memory processing with EMDR may lead to more dysregulation. The modality with glowing research reviews sends you into shutdown. You start to wonder if you’re the problem—if you’re somehow unfixable.
You’re not. I know this because I’ve been where you are.
As someone who recovered from childhood and systemic trauma, I had therapies that didn’t work for me. Some were helpful in pieces. Others left me more confused and dysregulated than when I started. The experience was isolating in a specific way: I was doing everything “right,” following the guidance of trained professionals, and still not healing. It took me a while to find approaches that allowed me to heal.
Now, as a counsellor and trauma coach who specializes in trauma, I understand why. I’m trained in EMDR, attachment and dissociation work, Janina Fisher’s Trauma Treatment Certification, somatic approaches, systemic constellation, and trauma-focused IFS (which is not the Standard IFS training). Each of these modalities has transformed lives, and each has limitations. This is the tension we live in. It may work for some clients but not for everyone. And here’s what the field rarely says openly: no single model fully heals complex trauma for everyone.
This isn’t a failure of the models themselves. It’s a mismatch between how trauma counselling is often presented—as a comprehensive, stand-alone solution—and the reality of what complex trauma may affect you as a person. Complex trauma doesn’t just leave memories to process; it leaves scars. It shapes your nervous system, fragments your sense of self, disrupts your capacity for connection, changes your attachment style and often leaves you without reliable access to the internal resources that many therapies assume you have.
The question “Should I try IFS or EMDR for complex trauma?” is understandable – both of them are often marketed as highly effective for trauma. You want direction. You want to know what will finally work. But it’s the wrong question—not because the answer doesn’t matter, but because the framing keeps you searching for a single key when healing from complex trauma usually requires several.
This article is my attempt to offer something the field often doesn’t: an honest exploration of what IFS and EMDR can and cannot do for complex trauma, why rigid loyalty to any single model can leave clients stranded, and what to look for in a mental health professional who can actually meet the complexity of your experience.
If you are unsure whether you have experienced trauma or complex trauma, check out my blog post, “What’s the difference between trauma and complex trauma.”
IFS or EMDR for complex trauma: The limits of single-model approaches
You may have heard bold claims about IFS or EMDR—that they’re revolutionary, that they work where other therapies fail, that they can heal even the deepest wounds. There’s truth in this. I’ve witnessed profound transformations using both modalities. But I’ve also seen clients shut down, dissociate, or leave therapy feeling more broken than before—not because they weren’t trying, but because the model wasn’t flexible enough to meet them where they were at.
Where IFS can fall short for complex trauma
Internal Family System (IFS is powerful for working with shame, inner critics, and the fragmented sense of self that complex trauma creates. The framework of “parts” often makes immediate intuitive sense to survivors who’ve long felt like they contain contradictory selves.
But traditional IFS makes certain assumptions that don’t hold for many complex trauma survivors.
First, it assumes access to Self energy—that calm, curious, compassionate presence from which we’re meant to witness and heal our parts. For people with complex trauma whose nervous systems are chronically dysregulated, self-energy may be fleeting or entirely inaccessible (at least at the beginning of your healing journey). When a client can’t access Self, the standard IFS approach can stall, leaving both counsellor and client frustrated.
Even Frank Anderson now acknowledges that he no longer believes self-energy alone is enough for healing; it must happen in connection, i.e., the quality of the relationship with your mental health professional is vital to supporting your healing journey. In my lived experience, I agree with this statement. However, this may not be fully reflected in the standard IFS model.
While IFS uses the concept of self-energy, it can be quite ethereal for some clients. Other parts-work-related models I worked with and found helpful speak of the “healthy adult self,” the wise part, or the caring observer, embodied and grounded in the present, and able to connect with parts. These concepts are often more easily accessible for clients than self-energy. What matters is not the model, but what works for you.
Many people with complex trauma—especially people who experienced emotional abuse—tend to have too much compassion for others but never learned to respect themselves. For people targeted by systemic oppression and racism, compassion may also cause them to let go of their boundaries towards the oppressor group. Healthy compassion only works in combination with responsibility and respect (all qualities that aren’t mentioned in the IFS trainings I attended). Some people benefit more from learning to reconnect with their boundaries than from showing more compassion. The concept of self-energy that promotes compassion without exploring the context or acknowledging healthy boundaries can repeat the cycle of being stuck in abusive dynamics.
Second, traditional IFS tends to reject external tools for nervous system regulation—such as grounding techniques, breathwork, and resourcing. The model emphasizes working with parts directly, trusting that the system will regulate itself through the therapeutic relationship with Self. For many of my clients with complex trauma, this isn’t enough. They need and appreciate concrete tools to widen their window of tolerance before parts work becomes possible.
Third, IFS typically locates parts in the body. You’re asked to notice where you feel a part, to focus inward, to sense into it. For survivors with significant dissociation, this approach can trigger exactly what we’re trying to heal. Some of my clients can engage with parts work without dissociating, only when we externalize—using stones, figurines, or drawings to represent parts outside the body. This isn’t a failure of the client. It’s an adaptation that honours where their nervous system actually is.
Finally, the concept of structural dissociation—as integrated in Janina Fisher’s trauma treatment—is not acknowledged in traditional IFS. While her approach integrates parts work, intense freeze and fawn responses present a particular challenge in pure IFS. These parts often don’t respond well to direct internal attention. They may go silent, collapse further, or flood the system. Approaching them requires small steps, somatic support, and sometimes simply building enough safety over time—none of which is incompatible with IFS, but none of which the basic model emphasizes. Many of my clients with complex trauma feel seen by the theory of structural dissociation, and it helps them make sense of their inner experience.
Overall, I do believe that parts work can be a powerful tool to heal from complex trauma. However, there are many different parts work approaches out there that you can choose from. If you work with an IFS counsellor, I would invite you to ask them about their perspective on complex trauma, whether they use the theory of structural dissociation and whether they adjust their approach to integrate more tools for grounding and externalizing parts.
Where EMDR can fall short for complex trauma
Here’s something that may surprise you: in my standard EMDR training, I understood that EMDR was not designed for complex trauma. Trauma and complex trauma aren’t the same. It was developed for single-incident trauma—a car accident, an assault, a discrete event with a clear before and after. For that, it can feel almost miraculous. For example, people can heal workplace trauma effectively with EMDR if they have the capacity to be in their window of tolerance for the processing. However, most people who have relational or complex trauma have relational wounds that need healing. This usually can’t be addressed solely through memory processing.
Complex trauma also rarely involves discrete memories. It’s often a texture of experience—thousands of small moments of neglect, unpredictability, or violation that wove together into a way of being in the world. There may be no single memory to target, or targeting one opens so many memories that you lose your capacity for dual awareness. That’s not your fault, and it’s a risk with EMDR when used prematurely. Pacing is important for healing complex trauma.
More fundamentally, memory processing doesn’t address what complex trauma actually damages—especially childhood abuse. It doesn’t heal insecure or disorganized attachment. It doesn’t resolve inner fragmentation. It doesn’t teach you how to set healthy boundaries, recognize your needs, or tolerate intimacy. It doesn’t teach you how to discern healthy from toxic relationship traits. These capacities were disrupted during development and require relational and somatic work to rebuild—not just memory reprocessing.
EMDR also requires dual awareness—the ability to hold one foot in the present while processing the past. For survivors with a limited window of tolerance or significant dissociation, this dual awareness may not be stable enough for processing to work. Without adequate preparation—resourcing, grounding, parts work to address internal resistance—EMDR can make your symptoms worse rather than heal. I did use EMDR to heal systemic trauma, and it was effective. But I was able to be in dual awareness at this stage.
Overall, while EMDR is a powerful tool, it often needs to be adjusted to work for people with complex trauma. Your counsellor likely needs additional training in order to support your healing journey. For example, Janina Fisher, one of the leading voices in trauma treatment, teaches on using EMDR for parts work in the present rather than memory reprocessing—a significant departure from standard protocol that acknowledges what complex trauma actually requires.
Dr. Daphne Fatter also teaches an integrated approach of IFS and EMDR for healing complex trauma. These adaptations gave me more tools to work with my clients —but they also confirmed that EMDR alone, as initially designed, cannot meet the full scope of what complex trauma survivors need.
Therefore, it’s valid if you ask a counsellor how they use EMDR to support people to heal from complex trauma and what additional tools or modalities they integrate.
The systemic problem: Counsellors who want their model to be “the best”
None of this means IFS or EMDR are bad approaches. Both have helped countless people. But what works for clients is what really matters. The problem arises when mental health professionals become so loyal or attached to their model that they can’t adapt when it isn’t working for a client. When I, as a professional, get defensive and can’t face criticism, when I dismiss my client’s experience, or when I stop wondering how I can improve the quality of my service, that’s when it becomes problematic.
I’ve seen this in the field more than I’d like to admit. Clinicians who frame every struggle as client resistance rather than looking at our models or even ourselves. Some training programs discourage integration with other approaches. A subtle culture that treats deviation from the model as a lack of skill rather than attunement with clients.
I do believe in parts work. I’ve also worked with clients who never resonated with it. So I don’t impose it on them. I collaborate to find an approach that works, or we adapt it to their needs.
If you’ve tried IFS or EMDR and felt like you failed, consider this: the approach failed to meet you. A more flexible, multimodal framework might be what you actually need.
What this means for your recovery
I get that your rational parts want clarity and the certainty that a particular approach will work for you. However, nobody can give you that guarantee. Mental health isn’t comparable to a broken bone. The psyche of our soul is far more complex.
Trauma recovery in itself is usually an experimental process, and healing complex trauma demands this—while respecting safety. It’s not about jumping in without a safety net, but about using established practices and exploring how it works for you. It’s about learning to be curious about what is happening inside of you.
This means that healing complex trauma often requires flexibility, clinical judgment and good collaboration with you—the client, since you know best what’s going on inside of you.
The more a trauma counsellor can draw from different modalities rather than strictly stick to one single model, the more they can give you this flexibility. To make it clear, no matter what approach your counsellor is using, it needs to work for you. If it doesn’t, something needs to be changed.
While I integrate different modalities, I can also hold space for the possibility that my approach may not work for everyone. That’s to be expected. I also need to challenge myself to increase my toolbox. I do believe that each modality I am trained in holds one truth about healing. However, I also realize that each new training expands my understanding of recovery from complex trauma. The knowledge about trauma is constantly evolving, and working with complex trauma is a continuous growth journey while also adjusting and learning from my experience with my clients.
So any evidence-based practice serves as a guide, not a mandate. Rigidly enforcing a research-supported model when it isn’t working for you is a misuse of power and can even be retraumatizing. Trauma-informed care requires collaboration, giving you choices, respecting your nervous system’s state, and flexibility in the approach. If you’re exploring how healing from complex trauma actually works, I invite you to listen to my podcast episode, “How to Recover from Complex Trauma.”
IFS or EMDR for complex trauma: The case for a multimodal, trauma-informed approach
The importance of the therapeutic relationship
Before I explain more about the multimodal approach, I want to acknowledge that the therapeutic relationship is one foundation for healing. The APA recognizes this important aspect. But what does this mean for you as the client? Your counsellor must be able to create a healthy, safe, and attuned relationship with you. If their own unresolved trauma or activated parts take over during sessions, the therapeutic relationship can become misaligned or even harmful.
In my own recovery, I have noticed that a healthy relationship with the professional was essential to be able to heal and not be stuck in my traumatic past. Therefore, I intend to role model this with my clients. However, I also realize that not every counsellor has the same perspective.
Special emphasis on systemic oppression
This becomes even more important when working with systemic trauma, particularly if your counsellor belongs to a dominant or privileged group. Research shows that between 54% and 81% of clients from racialized minority groups experience microaggressions from their counsellors. 2SLGBTQ folks may face discrimination or culturally unaware mental health professionals. This creates an unsafe environment for healing.
While the counselling field has a lot of work to do to provide healthy services for clients with marginalized identities, it also burdens you with learning to protect your boundaries. Keep in mind that it is okay to leave a counsellor if they have microaggressions towards you. It’s essential to work with a professional who is sufficiently self-aware, culturally competent, and trauma-informed, and who can integrate multiple approaches tailored to your lived experience and safety needs. If you want to learn more about the principles of trauma-informed care, check out my article “Why trauma-informed care matters.”
Possible approaches for a multimodal model for complex trauma apart from IFS or EMDR
Trauma recovery requires a holistic approach that integrates body (including your nervous system), mind, and emotions. Multimodal means that the mental health professional combines different modalities that address these various aspects. Trauma-informed indicates that they apply the principles of trauma-informed care in their relationship with you.
There’s no single ‘right’ modality for complex trauma healing. What matters is finding what resonates with you and what you and your system actually need in that moment.
Below are some approaches you might encounter or explore—though I should mention that in my own practice, I don’t use any of these in their ‘pure’ form. I adapt and integrate them based on what each client needs. Some may feel immediately helpful to you. Others might not fit your needs—and that’s okay. Your job is to notice what works, and your counsellor’s job is to adapt accordingly.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) works well for processing traumatic memories and reducing their emotional charge. In my practice, I use EMDR for memory reprocessing when the client’s nervous system is stable enough. However, it can be an iterative process between stabilization and memory processing in healing complex trauma. I also use it to develop inner resources and to heal wounds of parts. Furthermore, I use the flash technique, which doesn’t directly work with painful memories but can take the edge off if helpful for the client and if they aren’t yet fully prepared to use full EMDR.
Parts work therapy – with Internal Family Systems (IFS) being the most promoted currently – works well to understand your inner world better and reconnect with your parts. Furthermore, it can help with emotional regulation and increase your sense of self-compassion (which can be hard to access after complex trauma). It helps you resolve inner conflict and negotiate with parts that often have opposing ideas (especially at the beginning of recovery).
Most parts-work approaches also include an aspect that helps you process trauma. In my practice, I use parts work early on when working with a client. I use it in the form of visualization, externalization, but also in the pure IFS style. Furthermore, I use tools to manage activated parts. Additionally, parts work can help with healing attachment wounds.
Somatic approaches like somatic experiencing and sensorimotor psychotherapy can help you reconnect with your body in a safer way. Keep in mind that reconnecting with your body is an inner process and may often go hand-in-hand with parts work, especially if there are parts that are scared to be in your body (which is likely after complex trauma). Furthermore, it can help with boundaries and nervous system regulation. In my practice, I integrate the perspective from Janina Fisher’s trauma treatment based on sensorimotor psychotherapy, working with activated parts and the theory of structural dissociations as well as Staci Haines’ somatic work around dignity and belonging.
Nervous system regulation techniques or grounding practices support you in releasing freeze, fawn, or fight responses and in building capacity for safety and co-regulation. In this area, I often blend different approaches such as tools from dialectical behavioural therapy, the window of tolerance and Deb Dana’s approach to Polyvagal-informed therapy.
Art therapy helps you express emotions that can’t be described in words. Overall, creativity is a healing agent for trauma recovery. While I am not a full art therapist, I use drawings and systemic paper constellations if this approach resonates with my clients.
Skill-building in practices like assertiveness and boundary-setting helps you reconnect with yourself and work towards protecting yourself. Furthermore, learning to discern between healthy and unhealthy relationship behaviours. In my practice, I draw on frameworks for healthy and unhealthy relationships, entangled, rigid, and healthy boundaries, as well as assertiveness. It integrates psychoeducation and forms a foundation to build safety according to trauma-informed care.
Outside of counselling approaches, Yoga, Tai Chi, Karate, Chi gong, nature, and Zen meditation (that covers the relational aspect in contrast to some Western mindfulness approaches) can be useful additions to your recovery. Indigenous spiritual practices like the medicine wheel are also powerful additions if they resonate with you. For my own healing, I began practicing Ashtanga Yoga, Zen meditation, and shamanic practices. They remain an active practice in my life.
Keep in mind that it’s not about applying all options at once. You can start with a combined approach of parts work and somatic practices and move to memory processing with EMDR at a later stage. However, the approach needs to be adjusted to where you are at in that moment. This requires a mental health professional who is attuned to your needs and adjusts their approach accordingly. They also need to be flexible and willing to integrate multiple methods while maintaining the relational foundation that enables healing.
Multimodal trauma-informed care also acknowledges that healing is often nonlinear. Some sessions may focus on internal exploration, others on body-based regulation, and others on relational or systemic issues. For example, with some clients with complex trauma, we move back and forth between EMDR, parts work and somatic practices. The counsellor’s role is to guide, support, and hold space and help you assess what you need in the moment.
Conclusion: IFS or EMDR for Complex Trauma
I realize that your rational mind likely wanted an easy, straightforward solution. However, this is not the reality of healing complex trauma. I hope that the article gave you some clarity and ideas on what to look out for.
The three components for successful recovery are your commitment to your healing, the therapeutic relationship, and the modalities the counsellor can offer you. You likely benefit most from working with a counsellor who uses a multimodal trauma-informed approach if you have experienced complex trauma. It means they draw on multiple evidence-based modalities rather than relying on a single model. Ideally, these approaches cover body, mind, and emotions. However, you can also choose a different counsellor for different aspects of your healing. Furthermore, they meet you where you are, are transparent, give you choices, and collaborate with you on a healing journey.
Keep in mind that trauma healing is an experimental process, and the relationship with the counsellors matters as much as the modalities. Your counsellor should role model healthy behaviours in the therapeutic relationship. If you feel safe enough, it’s always helpful to bring up concerns or share if you notice that your symptoms worsen. If you do, they should take your concerns seriously. If you notice signs of toxic behaviours, it might be a good time to look for a different counsellor. While healing from complex trauma can be a journey with its ups and downs, with the appropriate support, you can recover over time and notice improvements in your life.
Sources
This article is informed by my professional training, professional practice, ongoing study, lived experience in trauma recovery and the works of trusted authors and organizations in trauma recovery, mental health, and social justice. The references below include the books, trainings, and evidence-based resources that shaped the ideas discussed here:
Anderson, F. (2025). Frank Anderson’s internal family systems trauma treatment. 4 months intensive [Online course]. PESI
American Psychological Association. (2024). Guidelines for Working with Adults with Complex Trauma Histories.
Fisher, J. (2023). Janina Fisher’s Trauma treatment certification training (CCTP): The latest proven techniques to resolve deeply held trauma [Online professional training]. PESI
Haines, S. (2022). Safety, belonging, and dignity: Using the generative power of somatics to heal individual and systemic trauma. [Online professional training]. Academy of Therapy Wisdom
Anderson, F. (2019, December 9). IFS Talks with Frank Anderson on trauma and neurosciences [Audio podcast episode]. In IFS Talks. Apple Podcasts.
