Examples of Healthy Boundaries: Transform your relationships

To make it easier to navigate, here’s a quick guide to the main topics we’ll explore in this post:

Healthy boundaries are the foundation of healthy relationships—but setting them isn’t always easy. I hope these examples of healthy boundaries inspire and support your personal growth. Many of my clients struggle with boundaries, and for good reason. Childhood abuse, complex trauma, and systemic oppression can shape our capacity to set and maintain them. For example, trauma can create protective parts that default to fawning (people-pleasing) or avoiding conflict altogether. Additionally, boundaries live in our bodies, yet trauma often disconnects us from our felt sense, making it harder to recognize and enforce them. Therefore, we must have clear examples of healthy boundaries and learn to discern them from unhealthy ones.

Systemic oppression adds another layer of complexity. If you are 2SLGBTQ+, Black, Indigenous, or a person of colour, you may have encountered situations where asserting healthy boundaries feels unsafe or even harmful. The impact of boundary violations, discrimination, or abusive relationship dynamics can also dysregulate your nervous system, making it even harder to maintain firm yet flexible boundaries. To learn more, check out our free guide, “Toxic Relationships 101.” Furthermore, leaving toxic dynamics is an example of healthy boundaries if the other person isn’t willing to change.

While these realities are painful and not okay, we can develop the skills to navigate them with greater self-protection, self-trust, and resilience. In this post, we’ll explore how to discern between healthy and entangled boundaries and how to strengthen our ability to set and maintain boundaries that honour our well-being.

Signs of entangled boundaries

The article focuses on examples of healthy boundaries. However, it is essential that we also understand entangled boundaries. Understanding them can help us identify opportunities for growth and assess others’ boundary-setting skills.

Here are some common examples of unhealthy boundaries:

Struggle to say no due to fear, guilt, or a need for approval
Feel angry, abandoned, or rejected when someone says no to you
Notice an imbalance in your relationships—either giving too much or receiving too much
Spend so much time helping others that your own needs go unmet
Take on other people’s problems as if they were your own
Feel responsible for how others feel—or expect others to manage your emotions
Have a high tolerance for boundary violations or disrespect
Struggle to identify and express your own needs and wants
Prioritize others’ opinions and feelings over your own
Compromise your values and beliefs to please others or avoid conflict
Share intimate details before a trusting relationship has been established

Here is an invitation to self-reflect on entangled boundaries:

Looking at this list, which areas resonate with you?
What would you like to strengthen?
And most importantly, how can you start making small, meaningful changes?

If you’re ready to explore further, dive into common boundary myths or how to effectively set healthy boundaries.

Examples of healthy boundaries

While it’s essential to identify areas where our boundaries need nurturing, it’s equally important to acknowledge the examples of healthy boundaries that support our well-being and relationships.

You have healthy boundaries if you:

Feel comfortable saying no without guilt or fear
Accept when others say no, respecting their limits
Maintain a strong sense of identity and self-worth
Experience balanced relationships with reciprocal giving and receiving
Prioritize your needs without feeling selfish
Discern which issues are yours to handle and which belong to others
Offer empathy without feeling responsible for fixing others’ problems
Refuse to tolerate boundary violations or disrespect
Assertively communicate your needs and wants, understanding that requests are not demands
Commit to nurturing your full potential and personal growth
Take responsibility for your happiness and emotions, recognizing others do the same
Value your opinions equally to others and embrace differences, finding win-win solutions
Stand by your values and integrity, even if it risks rejection
Share personal information gradually, fostering mutual trust and respect

On a scale from 0 to 10, how would you rate yourself in each area?
What aspects would you like to strengthen?
And how can you take small steps to enhance your boundaries?

Examples of healthy boundaries: The journey towards living them

I hope these examples of healthy boundaries increase your awareness of your own. Remember, setting healthy boundaries is a journey, not a destination. Many clients admire my boundary-setting skills, but it’s been a long journey to get here—I didn’t have this skill 20 years ago. Therefore, I often tell my clients that healthy boundaries are a daily practice. The process is different for everyone, shaped by past experiences, trauma, and the patterns we’ve learned over time. Be gentle with yourself. Growth happens step by step.

Decide what area you want to improve on

Instead of trying to change everything at once, choose one area to focus on. As you build awareness and practice, your boundaries will naturally become stronger. Later, revisit this list to reflect on your progress and adjust as needed. If you’re ready to explore further, dive into common boundary myths.

Ask for help when you notice obstacles in achieving your goal

You’re not alone if setting boundaries feels overwhelming or brings up deep emotions. Trauma can shape our ability to feel safe asserting our needs, and working with a professional can help. Online trauma counselling can provide guidance and support as you navigate this process.

Recognize the state of your nervous system

Understanding the window of tolerance—your nervous system’s ability to stay regulated under stress—can also be a powerful tool if you work towards implementing the examples of healthy boundaries. When we are dysregulated, setting and maintaining boundaries effectively is harder. Learn more about the window of tolerance and how it impacts your ability to stay present and assertive.

Additionally, Polyvagal theory can give you insights into how your nervous system responds to cues of safety and danger in your relationships and environments.

Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Whether through therapy, coaching, or community support, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Growth happens in connection.

“If you want to explore boundaries further, check out our article ‘The Complete Guide to Boundaries in Relationships.”

Sources

My professional training, ongoing study, professional experience, and the works of trusted authors and organizations in mental health and social justice inform this article. The references below include the books, trainings, and evidence-based resources that shaped my understanding and approach, providing context and support for the ideas discussed here.

Enns, V. (2020). Trauma – Strategies for resolving the impact of post-traumatic stress. [Online professional training]. Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute.

Center for Right Relationships (2012). Organization & relationship systems coaching training [in-person training curriculum]. Center for Right Relationships

Instituto Europeo de Coaching. (2011). Certificación internacional en coaching: Nivel experto en coaching [International certification in coaching: Expert level in coaching] [Diploma, 210 hours]

Katherine, A. (1994). Boundaries: Where you end and I begin: How to recognize and set healthy boundaries. Hazelden Publishing

Healing is collective

Sharing stories helps dismantle shame and silence — feel free to pass this one on. If this post meant something to you, feel free to share it.

Looking for support in trauma recovery and personal growth?

If this article resonates with you, I offer specialized support for those who have experienced abuse and trauma. My services are available in person in Calgary and online across Canada and worldwide, including:

About the author

Natalie Jovanic (they/them) is a trauma counsellor and the founder of Bright Horizon Therapies. With over 14 years of experience, they support people in healing from trauma, grief, and loss through a gentle, trauma-informed, and anti-oppressive approach.

Specializing in trauma counselling and EMDR therapy, Natalie offers both trauma-informed coaching and counselling services. They believe that healing happens in relationship—in the sacred space where your story is held with gentleness and your experiences are honoured. Whether you’re processing difficult memories, navigating grief, or feeling stuck in old patterns, Natalie meets you exactly where you are with the tools and support needed for your unique healing journey.

Disclaimer: This content reflects my professional knowledge and experience and is intended to educate and support. I recognize it may not be helpful in every situation, and I do not know your specific context. If you feel stuck, experience symptoms that limit your ability to participate in life, or notice worsening symptoms, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional.