Welcome to Trauma Demystified, a podcast brought to you by Bright Horizon Therapies. I am Natalie Jovanic, a trauma counsellor and trauma coach, and I am glad you are listening today.
Before I jump into today’s episode, “When the past shows up: Understanding Childhood trauma triggers in adulthood,” I want to apologize for taking so long to launch this episode. I’ve been busy updating my website and writing more blog posts. So, if you’re interested in diving deep into trauma recovery or healing as an adult with childhood trauma, head over to my page and check out the latest blog posts
Childhood trauma triggers in adulthood? What are they? The first person I dated was a painful experience. I liked them. It felt beautiful – until the first conflict showed up. I suddenly felt that overwhelming feeling, like I was dying if I stayed one second longer in this relationship. I broke up with them without ever trying to explore the conflict – the part with the fear of abandonment had taken over. Just at this stage, I wasn’t aware of it. I did not even know that I had experienced childhood trauma. My system was focused on surviving. Looking back now, I can see that my abandonment part was trying to protect me from the pain I’d felt as a child – but it also meant I couldn’t stay and learn if this conflict was dangerous or just… something two people can learn to work through constructively.
Have you ever had a moment where your reaction felt way bigger than the situation? Then this episode may be what you need right now. Here’s what I want you to know: triggers – or as I call them, activated parts – are a natural part of healing trauma. They’re not something that ‘shouldn’t be happening.’ They’re expected, and they make sense if we look at them more closely.
So today, we’re going to explore:
- What childhood trauma triggers actually are and how they connect to memories stored in your body
- Why I prefer saying “activated parts” instead of “triggered” – and how that shift in language can change everything
- Something significant: how these parts carry both past pain AND present truth at the same time
- What activation actually looks like in your daily life – because it shows up in so many different ways
- And the critical difference between being activated, experiencing retraumatization, and just having normal human emotions
As always, take what resonates and leave the rest. You are the expert in your life.
So, let’s dive into the content:
What are childhood trauma triggers in adulthood?
Now, triggers can show up with any kind of trauma, but today I’m speaking specifically to those of you healing from childhood trauma in adulthood – because there’s something unique about what happens when we’re hurt as children and how it may show up in adults.
So when we go through something painful but not traumatic, here’s what’s supposed to happen: we process and digest the experience over time. For example, when my cat died, I grieved his loss. Initially, the emotions were more intense, but they became softer over time. I spoke about him, I cried, I worked through regrets until at one stage, I could remember him and feel joy again. This is the natural way we process challenging situations.
But when trauma happens, this natural process gets interrupted. The experience is too overwhelming to handle in the moment, so we do what we need to survive. We go into survival mode, activate our rational thinking parts, and put those big emotions behind a wall because we simply don’t have the capacity to process them yet.
And here’s the thing about childhood: as children, we’re still building what we call our ‘window of tolerance’—our capacity to feel and manage big emotions. We haven’t developed it yet. And if our caregivers didn’t have that capacity either, there’s no model, no framework for working through these experiences.
So let me be clear: not every difficult thing that happened in childhood is traumatic. But some things are. And those unprocessed emotions behind the wall? They’re still there, stuck in your body, waiting. They want to be digested. They’re just waiting to say, ‘Here I am.’ They come out with all of the intensity when the initial trauma happens—and once again overwhelm our capacity to cope with them because we aren’t prepared for them.
When something in your present life resembles aspects of that past experience, maybe it’s a tone of voice, a feeling of being dismissed, or a sense of being trapped, those emotions get activated. They jump out from behind the wall. And suddenly, what should feel like a 3 out of 10 situation emotionally… feels like a 9 or 10.
Now, childhood trauma triggers in adulthood are often easier to identify when we have explicit memories – clear, conscious memories of what happened. It makes more sense when you can connect the emotional intensity to a specific event you remember.
For example, it was easier for me to navigate flashbacks about the sexual abuse I experienced as a child than the wound of abandonment – because with the abuse, I had explicit memory. I could say, ‘Oh, this is why I feel this way.’
But with abandonment? I had implicit memories. And implicit memories are tricky – they’re stored as body sensations and emotions, but they’re disconnected from the actual events. You feel the terror, the panic, the grief… but you can’t point to a clear memory that explains it. The more you grew up in a traumatic environment – meaning one of your caregivers was either frightening or frightened themselves, or you experienced ongoing emotional, physical, or sexual abuse – the more likely you are to be working with implicit memories. Also, if the traumatic experience happened while you were in the womb or when you were an infant, it’s unlikely that you can consciously remember it – but your body does.
And that can feel crazy-making. You’re having this huge reaction and can’t figure out why, because the story you know about your life doesn’t seem to match your feelings.
So that’s what childhood trauma triggers in adulthood are—they’re those unprocessed emotions from the past stuck in your body, jumping out when something in the present reminds your system of what happened before. Sometimes, you can connect the dots clearly. Sometimes, it just feels confusing and overwhelming. Either way, it’s your system trying to finally process what it couldn’t handle back then. While triggers are uncomfortable, they are a part of you asking for your attention and healing.
Reframing the language—”Activated parts” vs. “Childhood trauma triggers”
You might have noticed I keep saying ‘activated parts’ instead of ‘triggered.’ That’s intentional. Here’s why I don’t love the term “triggered.”
The word ‘triggered’ has become loaded. It’s often used to dismiss people, to imply they’re being too sensitive or overreacting. I’ve seen it weaponized in relationships – ‘You’re just triggered’ becomes a way to avoid accountability for genuinely harmful behaviour.
But there are other reasons I prefer ‘activated parts’—and they have to do with how we understand healing itself.
The term ‘parts’ comes from the understanding that all human beings have parts, activated parts, and a you that wasn’t damaged. I think that aspect is too often overlooked in counselling models that only focus on symptoms because an essential element of healing is that you work towards reconnecting with the you that wasn’t damaged.
Have you ever had a moment where suddenly you felt completely like yourself? Maybe in nature, or with someone you trust completely, or doing something creative? That sense of ‘oh, this is actually me’? That’s your healthy core. Some call it the Self energy. I think of it as the magical inner child – the part that’s curious, playful, full of wonder. Find a label that resonates with you. I like to use “essence.”
Your essence didn’t get destroyed by trauma. You may feel disconnected from it, but it’s still there. Your parts built walls around it, took on the pain, stayed vigilant – all to keep that essence of you safe.
So when we talk about ‘a part of me is activated,’ we’re acknowledging there’s a YOU – that magical core – who can witness what’s happening, who can relate to the activated part with gentleness, and who can eventually help it heal.
But more than that, ‘activated parts’ give you something different. It creates a little bit of separation between you and the response. Instead of ‘I am triggered’ – which can feel like your whole identity in that moment – you can say ‘a part of me is activated.’ Do you feel the difference? One blames you for a reaction while disrespecting the past painful experiences that caused it. The other acknowledges this is one part of a larger system, which means you can build some agency. Over time, you have more capacity to stay in your adult self while activated parts show up.
Healing isn’t about getting rid of them. It’s about supporting them in changing their behaviours (if necessary) and working through their wounds. Parts can change with persistence and patience – and they hold wisdom about who you are and what matters to you.
And here’s what that separation makes possible: you can start to build a relationship with that part. You can get curious about it. You can learn what it’s trying to protect you from. You can even negotiate with it about healthier ways to keep you safe. You can explore how you can set boundaries so that the part feels more protected.
The word ‘parts’ also does something else – it holds a beautiful balance. It keeps you accountable as the adult who’s responsible for your healing and your behaviour. But it also invites curiosity and gentleness toward what’s happening inside you. Because these parts? They’re not the enemy. They helped you survive situations that were genuinely overwhelming. They developed unhealthy coping skills sometimes, yes – but that made sense given what you were facing.
Healing is a process. It takes time. Some of our parts are known to us immediately, and others may take a while to discover. And speaking about ‘parts’ reminds us that these responses want to protect you from further hurt or pain. So befriending them, rather than fighting them, is the way forward to heal the wounds underneath.
And if you want to explore this approach further, I have a complete episode dedicated to the benefits of parts work for healing trauma – I’ll link that in the show notes.
The dual nature of activated parts
So we’ve talked about childhood trauma triggers and why I call them activated parts. Now, let’s talk about something that makes this even more complicated—and, honestly, more important to understand.
Here’s what often gets missed in trauma work: when a part gets activated, we’re taught to ask ourselves, ‘Is this about the past or the present?’ But that’s the wrong question. Because the answer is usually: both.
Your activated parts carry old pain from childhood AND often respond to something real happening right now. Both truths exist simultaneously, which is crucial to understand because dismissing either can keep you stuck.
A story from 20 years ago: How one of my childhood trauma trigger showed up in adulthood
Let me tell you about a time when understanding this would have saved me a lot of confusion and pain. This was about 20 years ago now.
I used to have a part that would resort to self-injury during conflicts with my ex-partner – not every conflict, but at the end of our relationship, where our dynamic was unhealthy. And yes, this part carried deep wounds from childhood trauma – where conflict might have led to physical violence.
But here’s what was also true: my ex-partner ignored my boundaries. I said stop several times, and he ignored me. At this stage, I wasn’t aware that I could have just walked out of the room. The more he yelled at me, the more I dissociated. Self-injury helped me to get back in my body. He would call me ‘crazy’ when this part showed up. And I’d be left wondering: Am I overreacting because of my trauma? At that stage, I had so much internalized stigma that I did not dare to ask: Or is his behaviour actually also harmful? I couldn’t even let myself consider that his behaviour might be part of the problem – I was so convinced that my trauma made me the problem.
The answer was both. My part was activated – absolutely. That intensity came from old wounds. I also wasn’t aware enough of how to set healthy boundaries. But he was also genuinely crossing boundaries and being dismissive. Both were true.
Now, was it my responsibility to work with that part and find healthier coping strategies? Yes. Absolutely. The part with self-injury, while an adaptive coping skill, was something I needed to address so I could find healthier ways to handle conflict. In my experience, the part stopped appearing when I could respect my boundaries and the more I healed.
But was it also not okay for him to call me names and ignore my boundaries? Also yes. His behaviour was genuinely harmful, regardless of my trauma history.
And here’s the problem: he used ‘you’re just triggered’ as a way to avoid taking responsibility for his own behaviour. My activation became an excuse for him to dismiss everything I was saying about what wasn’t working in the relationship. There was never space to debrief what happened, to explore what each of us was responsible for, or to figure out how to create more safety. My trauma just became the reason nothing was ever his fault.
Common childhood trauma triggers in adulthood
Another example is when you have two partners – one with an anxious attachment style and the other with an avoidant one: I see this dynamic play out all the time in my work.
Here’s what typically happens: The anxious partner’s fear of abandonment part gets activated when the avoidant partner pulls away or needs space. That part from childhood is screaming, ‘Don’t leave me! I’m not safe alone!’ And yes, that’s an old wound.
But here’s the thing – the avoidant partner IS actually withdrawing. That’s real. It’s happening in the present. So the anxious partner isn’t ‘just triggered’ – they’re responding to an actual pattern of emotional unavailability happening right now.
Now flip it: The avoidant partner often has a part that learned ‘closeness is suffocating’ or ‘I need my freedom’ in childhood. When the anxious partner seeks connection, that part gets activated, and they withdraw even more to protect themselves.
And the anxious partner IS actually pursuing, maybe even demanding reassurance. That’s real, too.
So who’s just triggered? Both of them. And neither of them. Because both have old wounds getting activated, AND both are responding to something real the other person is doing right now.
In a healthy relationship, both partners recognize this dance. The anxious partner works on self-soothing and not making their partner responsible for all their security. The avoidant partner works on staying present even when uncomfortable and communicating instead of disappearing. This way, we can work toward connecting from our adult selves, not just our wounded parts.
Both do their healing work, take responsibility for their patterns, and acknowledge that the other person’s experience is real, not just ‘in their head.’
This pattern is more challenging to address in dating relationships because it can be very real that one partner is less interested in dating and may cut ties more easily. Learning to take care of your parts can be a vital step to date as healthily as possible.
The reality is that our adult relationships show us all the areas where we have the potential to grow and heal.
Trust what your parts are telling you
When activated parts show up in your relationships, there’s often a kernel of truth in the present moment – a crossed boundary, an unmet need, a toxic pattern. Your part might add intensity from the past, but that doesn’t mean that nothing is actually wrong right now. While it often isn’t the worst-case scenario your part fears, it usually does indicate that something needs your attention.
We are all working on something
And here’s something else to consider: research suggests that about 80 to 95% of people grew up in dysfunctional homes. Which means it’s likely that both partners in a relationship have some trauma or pain, some activated parts, some growth potential, and these are likely to show up under stress and in conflict.
If your partner is lucky enough not to carry significant past trauma, that doesn’t give them the right to look down on you or dismiss your experiences. And it definitely doesn’t mean that every reaction you have is ‘just your trauma.’
In healthy relationships, both people approach this with humility and curiosity. Both are willing to look at their patterns. Both find creative ways to work through these challenges together.
Childhood trauma triggers in adulthood: Responsibilities
So here’s what I want you to hold: Healing is a choice. Taking responsibility for your healing is a choice. And I want to be honest with you: it’s also the only path to truly choosing yourself, honouring yourself, respecting yourself, and becoming the best version of yourself.
You ARE responsible for your healing, your feelings and your behaviour. You’re responsible for working with your parts, for finding healthier coping strategies, for doing your own trauma recovery work.
Now, a good trauma-focused counsellor or trauma coach can offer you a safer space to do this work. They can guide you, support you, and witness you. But the only person who can actually work through it is you. No one can heal your wounds for you. No one can do the hard work of turning toward your parts, of sitting with discomfort, of changing patterns. That’s yours.
I recognize that not everyone is in a position to make that choice right now. Maybe you’re in survival mode, or you don’t have access to the resources you need. And that’s real—I’m not dismissing those barriers.
But I also don’t want to pretend that healing will happen without actively choosing it. Waiting for the perfect circumstances, waiting to feel ready, waiting for someone else to fix it – that keeps you stuck. At some point, if you want to feel truly alive, if you want to respect yourself and live with integrity, you have to choose to engage with your healing.
But you are NOT responsible for other people’s harmful behaviour – not their boundary violations, not their contempt, not their emotional unavailability, not their refusal to do their own work.
Learning to hold both truths is the work: ‘My abandonment part is activated because of my past’ AND ‘This person is actually being dismissive right now.’ Both can be true. Both matter. Your activation doesn’t excuse harmful behaviour on your part. However, other people also have responsibility for their own behaviour, and dismissing what you experience as ‘just being triggered’ isn’t healthy.
Different parts, different judgments
This framework can be hard when the behaviour of our parts triggers shame within us or faces social stigma. In general, angry parts are judged more harshly than fawn parts – someone who gets loud in conflict faces more judgment than someone who people-pleases.
But healthy healing means seeing the behaviour in the context of what happened to you while still promoting accountability. Your anger part makes sense, given what you survived. And you’re still responsible for how you express it now.
When systemic trauma shows up
What if systemic trauma shows up? Let me give you an example from my own life. When I experienced systemic trauma as an adult due to being a non-binary immigrant, I recognized new, activated parts showing up and felt powerless. The situation wasn’t something I could leave or avoid – I had to find a way to live with it in an empowered way. I had no clue how.
Over time, I remembered that I had healed from childhood abuse once. I had the resources I’d built, the tools I’d learned, the capacity I’d developed. This awareness helped me recognize that I knew what healing was and gave me trust that I could heal again – even when a part of me felt devastated.
Remembering the healing journey I’d already experienced gave me the courage to start again. To choose again – healing, self-respect and integrity by not allowing society to define me.
And that’s what I mean by choice. I didn’t choose systemic violence. I couldn’t choose to make it go away. But I could choose how I related to it. I could choose to work with the parts that got activated. I could choose parts work rather than collapse into powerlessness.
That’s what taking responsibility looks like—not blaming yourself for what happened, but choosing to engage with your healing despite it. This doesn’t mean that your experience of oppression is your responsibility or that you should minimize it. It means you’re choosing your best life despite what society throws at you.
Systemic oppression is wrong. In a healthy world, it wouldn’t exist, and it’s part of many people’s lives every day. While some people work toward changing systems—and while it sometimes may feel like oppression is getting worse—we also get to choose how we choose to live and heal within them.
The work of holding complexity
So yes, do your healing work. Absolutely. Work with your parts, build relationships with them, and help them find healthier ways to protect you.
But also trust yourself. When parts show up, they might be trying to tell you something about what’s happening right now, not just what happened back then. Don’t dismiss your own experience just because you have trauma.
Both are true. And holding both truths? That’s where real healing happens.
What childhood trauma triggers in adulthood can look like
Activated parts show up differently for everyone
Now, let’s talk about what activated parts actually look like. They show up in so many different ways, and recognizing them is the first step to working with them.
Activated parts exist on a spectrum. What activation looks like for you depends on what happened to you, which parts developed to protect you, and what context you’re in. Different parts often show up in different situations: one part might activate when you’re ending a relationship, another when you’re setting boundaries, another in conflict.
I’m going to give you some examples, but I also invite you to get curious about your own experience. How do you know when a part is activated? Often, it’s when your response feels more extreme than you would have expected, or when you find yourself behaving in ways that don’t feel like your natural state of being – and you can’t quite figure out why.
Intense emotions that feel bigger than the situation
Activated parts can show up as strong, intense emotions – anger that feels overwhelming, fear that feels like panic, shame that feels crushing, or grief that comes out of nowhere. The intensity is the clue. It’s bigger than the situation seems to call for.
A trauma responses: Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
Activated parts often trigger what we call trauma responses – fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
Fight might involve becoming argumentative, or aggressive—even when you don’t want to be.
Flight might look like desperately wanting to escape, leave the room, or end the conversation.
Freezing might look like shutting down completely, feeling immobilized, going blank, or dissociating—like being not fully present in your body.
Fawn might look like people-pleasing, over-apologizing, or losing yourself trying to keep the peace.
And I want to be clear: these responses don’t mean you’re broken. They mean your nervous system is trying to protect you the way it learned to protect you back then.
When your thinking brain goes offline
There is a difference in intensity, though. When you’re in a full trauma response – especially freeze or fight – your prefrontal cortex isn’t working the way it normally does. You literally don’t have access to your whole thinking, reasoning brain.
That’s why it’s often more helpful to explore what happened before the part got activated and work on prevention rather than trying to change your behaviour while the part is already activated. It’s hard to negotiate with a part already in full protection mode. So, I’d invite you to explore the situation, note which parts showed up prior to the fight part showing up, and explore how you could take care of them.
Your body knows before your mind does
You can also recognize activated parts through body sensations like your heart racing, chest tightening, difficulty breathing, nausea, tension, feeling suddenly hot or cold. Your body often knows a part is activated before your mind catches up.
The inner critic and other harsh voices
Activated parts can also show up as intense inner voices: the voice of self-hatred, self-blame, harsh criticism. These parts are often trying to keep you safe by keeping you small, or punishing you because they want to be in control since trauma usually leaves us feeling out of control. The learning here is to explore what is within your control and be more comfortable with uncertainty.
When “helpful” parts are actually connected with childhood trauma in adulthood
And here’s something people often miss: some childhood trauma triggers in adulthood can look helpful on the surface. The part that has boundless compassion for others, but burns you out by neglecting your boundaries. A caregiving part that puts everybody else first. The part that makes excuses for other people’s harmful behaviour. These parts feel useful, even virtuous – but they’re still protection strategies that developed because having needs or taking up space wasn’t safe. The more you heal, the more you can find balance, like compassion for others, while respecting your boundaries and needs.
Parts that use urgent coping strategies
Some activated parts use urgent coping strategies – self-injury, addictive behaviours, suicidal thoughts. These parts are often trying desperately to manage pain that feels unbearable. They need curiosity, not judgment.
And then there are parts that try to avoid pain at all costs – which might sound helpful, but isn’t healthy in the long run. Because unprocessed trauma stays stuck in your body. Avoidance keeps the wound from healing.
The intensity doesn’t mean you’re broken
Overall, activated parts feel intense. They can feel confusing and overwhelming, like they’re taking over. That’s especially true if they haven’t been listened to in years—if they’ve been ignored, suppressed, or shamed. They get louder when they’re desperate for your attention.
But here’s what I want you to know: this doesn’t mean you’re broken or that you can’t heal. It means your system has been trying to protect you, and these parts need you to finally turn toward them with curiosity instead of judgment.
Getting curious about your own activated parts
So I want to invite you to take a first step. Reflect on this if it resonates with you and you feel safe enough: When have you noticed an activated part showing up – and let’s start not with the most intense one, but a part with a mild activation? What was the context? What were the cues of danger – real or perceived? And what might that part have needed from you that it wasn’t getting?
Just notice. Just get curious. That’s where healing begins.
And if you want to learn more skills for managing activated parts, I have two episodes that dive deeper into this: one on five trauma counselling techniques that really help, and one dedicated to parts work. I’ll leave the links in the show notes. If you’re interested in a worksheet to get started with parts work, please send an email to nat@brighthorizontherapies.com.
Activated parts, retraumatization, and new trauma: What’s the difference?
Let’s talk about fear and misconceptions
Let’s talk about emotions, activated parts, retraumatization, and new trauma. I’ve heard a lot of misconceptions about these terms, and some of those misconceptions create unnecessary fear. So let’s clarify what’s what.
Normal emotions: It’s healthy to feel
First, emotions. Emotions are a natural part of being human. They’re messengers about our needs and boundaries, even though it sometimes feels like the counselling field pathologizes them. We experience some emotions as pleasant like joy, excitement, love. Others are harder like anger, sadness, fear. And some emotions are socially judged as “negative” or “too much.”
But here’s the truth: we have to be able to feel the full range of emotions if we want to feel happier and more alive. Not everything difficult is trauma. Sometimes you’re just angry, sad, or disappointed – and that’s okay. That’s human. Even if you are healed from the past, you will continue having emotions.
For example, in a recent blog post, I mentioned that I felt annoyed while watching a late-night show about the Epstein files because I didn’t find it respectful toward survivors. So I stopped watching it. I wasn’t triggered. I didn’t have a trauma response. I just had a present-moment emotion – annoyance – and I honoured it by making a choice. That’s healthy emotional processing. You can find that blog post on my website.
Activated parts: When the present activates childhood trauma triggers in adulthood
An activated part is different. It’s an emotion with additional intensity due to past trauma, or it’s a trauma response getting triggered. Both are adaptive coping mechanisms that developed in response to extreme life experiences.
Activated parts are to be expected when you’re healing childhood trauma in adulthood. They don’t mean you’re doing something wrong. They don’t mean healing isn’t working. They’re part of the process. And the good news is: we can learn to manage them, and we can heal them over time.
Now, if the activation gets too intense and you’re going into a full trauma response, grounding exercises can be really helpful. I have a podcast episode dedicated to grounding techniques – I’ll link it in the show notes.
Here’s the key thing to understand about activated parts: they’re connected to old wounds. And that comes with a double-edged sword.
If we constantly avoid activated parts, we can’t heal. The wounds stay unprocessed. But if we jump into situations that activate us too intensely, we can become dysregulated and overwhelmed. So healing isn’t about avoiding activation – it’s about finding the appropriate balance.
Please note that healing doesn’t mean that you will never have a trauma response again – they are part of life and a way to protect us from danger. It means that you can return to a state of safety and connection when the dangerous situation is over – a flow that’s often interrupted due to past trauma.
The tricky balance about childhood trauma triggers in adulthood: Challenge vs. overwhelm
The key is balance: challenge versus overwhelm. Let me give you an example. Trigger warnings about certain content – stories of abuse, violence, trauma – can be useful for people who have very strong activations. They allow you to make an informed choice about what’s best for you in that moment. And here’s another layer: reading a story from other survivors can actually help us process unprocessed emotions from our own trauma. It can be part of healing.
So we need to find the right balance – challenging ourselves enough to improve our capacity to be with uncomfortable emotions, without going into a full trauma response. The goal of healing isn’t to avoid everything that’s uncomfortable. It’s to increase your capacity to be with discomfort without losing your sense of safety and groundedness.
Retraumatization: When it feels like it’s happening again
Now, retraumatization is different. Retraumatization happens when a present-day situation significantly echoes the original trauma in ways that overwhelm your ability to cope. It can feel like the trauma is happening all over again – not just an emotional echo, but a full reliving. It usually occurs when there isn’t enough safety or support in place.
In my professional experience, retraumatization is relatively rare. But when it does happen, it can feel profoundly destabilizing. If you notice situations that feel too similar to your original trauma and you’re not ready to face them yet, it’s okay to step back. It’s okay to take breaks. It’s okay to seek support.
And here’s something important: the risk of retraumatization reduces the more you heal the original unprocessed trauma. As you work through those old wounds, you build more capacity to handle difficult situations without being completely overwhelmed.
If you’re working with a trauma coach or a trauma-focused counsellor and you notice your symptoms are getting worse rather than gradually improving, that’s important information to discuss with them. If you feel like you’re at risk for retraumatization, I’d invite you to reach out to a mental health professional who specializes in trauma.
What retraumatization is NOT
Let me also be clear about what retraumatization is NOT.
Watching a documentary about trauma—even about trauma similar to yours—is not retraumatization. Reading news stories, listening to podcasts, hearing other survivors’ stories—these might be activating, but they’re not retraumatization.
Why? Because you have choice. You can turn it off. You can walk away. You can take breaks. You’re not experiencing the actual trauma—you’re consuming content about trauma. That’s a huge difference.
Now, might watching something difficult activate parts? Absolutely. Might it bring up painful emotions? Of course. Might you choose not to engage with certain content because it doesn’t feel helpful or seems disrespectful? That’s totally valid—that’s what I did with that Epstein show.
However, having an activated part or choosing not to consume certain content is not the same as being retraumatized. You still have agency. You’re still safe in the present moment. You can make informed choices about what you engage with.
If you start to feel overwhelmed by content, choose to take breaks. But if you notice you can’t stop looking at it—even though you know it’s not good for you—it might be that a part hyper-focused on the past trauma has taken over. That’s a good time to reach out for professional support.
New Trauma: Life doesn’t stop being hard
Finally, new trauma. New trauma happens when you experience something in the present that overwhelms your capacity to process it emotionally. It’s a genuinely traumatic event happening now – not an echo of the past.
And I want to be really clear about something: if you experienced sexual abuse as a child and then experience sexual assault as an adult, that’s not retraumatization. That’s new trauma. That’s a new violation happening in the present.
I need to address this because there’s a problematic narrative in the trauma field—this idea that once you’ve experienced trauma, everything difficult afterward is “retraumatization.” That’s not true, and that narrative is actually harmful.
Here’s what’s real: If you experienced abuse as a child and then someone abuses you as an adult, that’s a new person making the choice to harm you. They’re responsible for that harm. Your trauma history doesn’t make it “retraumatization”—it makes it a second trauma if it overwhelms your capacity to integrate it emotionally.
Yes, trauma history can make you more vulnerable to future harm. Maybe you learned that love looks like control, or you have trouble recognizing red flags, or certain patterns got normalized that shouldn’t be. That’s real. But that doesn’t mean the new harm is somehow just an echo of the old harm. It’s its own violation.
Retraumatization is often about healing processes or therapeutic approaches that overwhelm you—not about life continuing to be hard or people continuing to target you with harmful behaviours.
This distinction matters because calling everything “retraumatization” takes responsibility away from people who cause harm in the present and puts it all on your unhealed past. And that’s not fair to you.
And here’s the hard truth: trauma is part of life. We can’t prevent all difficult things from happening. Healing childhood trauma does increase your window of tolerance. It does expand your emotional capacity to handle complex situations. But it doesn’t make you invincible. There’s still a risk that new trauma can happen.
The difference is: with a wider window of tolerance and more tools, you’re better equipped to process it. You’re not starting from scratch.
The bottom line: Not everything is trauma
So here’s what I want you to take away from this:
Not every complex emotion is a childhood trauma trigger in adulthood. Sometimes you just feel something in the present moment, and that’s healthy. You live in your body; part of healing is learning to sort this out.
Not every activated part means retraumatization. Most of the time, your system says, “Hey, this reminds me of something painful, and I need your attention.”
And healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel activated again. It means you’ll have more capacity to work with those parts, more tools to manage the intensity, and more ability to tell the difference between past and present.
You’re not broken. You’re not “doing it wrong” if parts still get activated. You’re a human being with a nervous system that learned to protect you – and you’re learning new ways to feel safe.
Childhood trauma triggers in adulthood: You’re not alone in this.
So let’s bring this all together.
Childhood trauma triggers in adulthood aren’t something to be ashamed of or to fight against. They’re your system’s way of saying, “Something here needs attention—either from the past that’s still unhealed, or something in the present that isn’t okay, or both.”
Healing isn’t about never getting activated again. It’s about building the capacity to recognize what’s happening, to hold both past and present with compassion, and to trust yourself while doing your work.
You’re not too much. You’re not broken. You’re a human being with a nervous system that learned to protect you—and you’re learning new, healthier ways to feel safe.
If this episode about childhood trauma triggers in adulthood resonated with you, I’d love it if you’d share it with someone else who might benefit. Sometimes just knowing we’re not alone in this—that someone else gets it—can make all the difference.
You can find all the resources I mentioned today in the show notes, including links to the episodes on parts work, grounding techniques, and trauma counselling tools. And if you want to dive deeper, head over to my website at brighthorizontherapies.com for blog posts and resources on healing childhood trauma as an adult.
Thank you for listening, for doing this work, and for trusting me with your time today. I’ll see you in the next episode.
If you want to learn more about healing as an adult with childhood trauma, check out the blog post ‘Adults with Childhood Trauma: How to Heal and Reclaim Your Life.’
Sources
While formal training programs provide a foundation in trauma-informed and counseling practices, no single curriculum can include every valuable voice or perspective. My approach draws not only on professional training and evidence-based resources, but also on lived experience, ongoing study and professional growth, and readings beyond traditional syllabi. By integrating diverse perspectives and survivor-informed knowledge, I aim to offer a more comprehensive, inclusive, and practical approach to healing and growth. The references below include the books, trainings, and evidence-based resources that shaped the ideas discussed here:
Anderson, F. (2025). Frank Anderson’s internal family systems trauma treatment. 4 months intensive [Online course]. PESI https://www.pesi.com/
Fisher, J. (2023). Janina Fisher’s Trauma treatment certification training (CCTP): The latest proven techniques to resolve deeply held trauma [Online professional training]. PESI
Davis, E., & Marchand, J. (2021). Attachment and dissociation assessment and treatment [Online professional training]. R. Cassidey Seminars.
Greenwald, R. (2020). EMDR basic training, approved by the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA). [Online professional training]. Trauma Institute & Child Trauma Institute
Whitfield, C. L. (2010). Healing the child within: Discovery and recovery for adult children of dysfunctional families (Recovery Classics Edition). Simon & Schuster.
