Many people ask me, “What is trauma, really?” Trauma is a word we hear all the time, but it’s not always clear what it means. Even though I experienced trauma in my own childhood, I had no idea what trauma truly was when I started my healing journey. Learning a clear definition helped me understand my body, my emotions, and how to choose the right tools to heal.
Before we go further, it’s important to know that psychology and our understanding of the mind are constantly evolving. The definition of trauma has changed over the years. Some explanations you might see out there are outdated or incomplete.
Outdated ideas about trauma
In the past, trauma was often described as a horrific event “beyond the scope of normal human experience.”
Here’s the problem: trauma is not some rare, exceptional event. Life is messy, and painful experiences are part of being human. Studies show that around 70% of people experience trauma in some form during childhood, adolescence, or adulthood.
For a long time, counselling professionals also believed that we could only learn to cope with trauma. Thankfully, neuroscience research now shows that our brains can heal. But those old ideas still pop up sometimes.
So, what is trauma today?
Trauma is an injury to our emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being. It can shake our sense of safety, disrupt resilience, and make our reactions feel automatic or instinctual. Trauma can happen to an individual or an entire community.
Here’s what you need to know:
Your experience matters
It’s not the event itself that determines whether something is traumatic—it’s how you experience it. Two people can go through the same situation and respond very differently. That doesn’t mean one person is weaker or “less resilient.” Everyone’s experience is unique, and it’s valid.
Trauma isn’t just life-threatening
Trauma doesn’t only come from big, dramatic events. It’s about how an experience affects you emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.
Even small, repeated experiences can add up and become traumatic. When relational wounding is involved—like micro-aggressions, racism, or emotional abuse—it can result in complex trauma.
Children are especially vulnerable. They may not have the tools to fully process painful events, and responses from caregivers or their environment can shape how trauma is integrated. Survival often comes first, which is why professional support and self-compassion are so important on the healing journey.
Diversity of trauma
Trauma comes in many forms. Sometimes it’s a single incident, other times it’s relational trauma, complex trauma, or childhood trauma. The terminology matters because it can indicate different needs for recovery.
Most people have symptoms of trauma but can’t remember
If someone has experienced childhood abuse or complex trauma, they might show symptoms of trauma without remembering the events themselves. That’s okay. You don’t need to remember everything to heal. What matters is recognizing the signs and getting the support that matches your needs.
“The essence of trauma is disconnection from ourselves. Trauma is not terrible things that happen from the other side—those are traumatic. But the trauma is that very separation from the body and emotions.”
— Gabor Maté
Examples of traumatic experiences
While trauma is deeply personal, here are some experiences that can be traumatic for many people:
- Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse
- Childhood neglect
- Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)
- Racism, discrimination, or oppression
- Poverty
- Community violence, war, or terrorism
- Accidents or surgeries
- Witnessing violence
- Sudden separation from loved ones
- Other losses, like financial loss or loss of an unborn child
Healing from trauma
Trauma is still stigmatized in society, which is why it’s important to use the term respectfully. Experiencing trauma does not mean it’s a life sentence. Recovery is possible, whether through professional support or self-guided processing. Trauma counselling is a valid and effective form to heal from various forms of trauma.
Everyone’s path is unique. With patience, commitment, and the right tools, you can process and integrate traumatic experiences and reclaim a sense of safety and wholeness.
To learn more, tune in to my podcast, Trauma Demystified: What You Need to Know About Trauma Recovery.
