Welcome to the Healthy Boundaries Quiz – An opportunity to self-reflect
As described in my article, “The Complete Guide to Boundaries in Relationships,” healthy boundaries are essential for personal well-being and creating fulfilling relationships. This quiz is designed to help you reflect on your boundary-setting practices, offering insights into navigating your personal space, needs, and emotions. By answering a series of questions, you’ll better understand your current skills around boundaries and identify areas where you may want to grow. This quiz is designed to help you reflect on your relationship with boundaries. It is not a diagnostic tool; the results are intended to increase self-awareness and guide personal growth.
Guidelines for taking the Healthy Boundaries Quiz
Take your time, answer honestly, and remember this is a tool for self-reflection. Healthy boundaries are a growth journey and a daily practice. No one is perfect, and growth is always possible.
At the end of the quiz, you’ll receive your score and guidance to help you strengthen your boundaries for a more balanced and empowered life.
You have two options for receiving your results for the Healthy Boundaries Quiz:
- Option 1: Fill out the quiz and print your results to track your progress in the future. Further reflection questions are provided in this post after the quiz submission.
- Option 2: Fill out the quiz and provide your email at the end. You’ll receive an email with your score and answers and another email explaining what it means. Furthermore, you will receive follow-up suggestions to help you strengthen your boundary-setting skills. You can unsubscribe at any time. If you choose Option 2, your responses may be anonymously analyzed to help us improve our resources. Rest assured, we respect your privacy and will never share your data. If you’re not comfortable with this, please select Option 1.
You can choose the option that resonates most with you.
Important notes when taking the Healthy Boundaries Quiz
Boundaries and trauma
Past experiences and trauma may shape your ability to set healthy boundaries today. If you’ve experienced childhood abuse, relational trauma, or complex trauma, these experiences can impact your capacity to set boundaries. As a result, attempting to set boundaries may even activate trauma responses. Polyvagal theory can give you an important insight into how your autonomic nervous system responds to cues of danger in your relationships and environment. Remember that these responses were adaptive coping skills to survive in traumatic environments. Healing is possible with time, patience, and appropriate support. Trauma counselling can help you build the skills and confidence to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.
Boundaries and systemic oppression
For individuals targeted by systemic oppression—such as members of the LGBTQ+ (or 2SLGBTQ+ in Canada) community, Black, Indigenous, or people of colour, or individuals with other marginalized identities—communicating healthy boundaries can sometimes be risky or unsafe due to the dynamics of systemic oppression. These dynamics are important to consider as you reflect on your experiences.
Abusive relationships
If you are currently in an abusive relationship, it may also influence your capacity to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Please check out the free guide “Toxic Relationships 101” to learn more.
Reflective questions to evaluate your results in the Healthy Boundaries Quiz
Use these questions to dive deeper into your results of the Healthy Boundaries Quiz and gain clarity:
Strengths:
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- What strengths do you notice when it comes to setting boundaries? How could you further nurture these strengths?
Growth areas:
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- What areas of growth do you identify regarding your boundary-setting skills?
Family and cultural influences:
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- How did your family approach boundary-setting, and how has this shaped your experience?
- How are boundaries lived in your cultural context?
- What might help you break free from patterns that no longer serve you?
Relational differences and context:
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- How does your ability to set boundaries vary depending on the person you interact with?
Psychological safety in relationships:
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- How psychologically safe do you feel in your relationships?
- How healthy are your current relationships?
- How does the health of your relationships influence your capacity to set healthy boundaries?
Systemic influences that may affect your boundaries
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- How do dynamics of systemic oppression (e.g., racism, cisgenderism, heterosexism, sexism, ableism) influence your capacity to set healthy boundaries?
- How do they influence your psychological safety (remember, psychological safety depends on privilege)?
- How willing is the other side to take responsibility for what is theirs (e.g. their privilege(s), racist behaviours, homophobia, transphobia) and take action to change in your relationships?
Future possibilities:
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- If you had a magic wand and could change whatever you wanted, how would you practice healthy boundaries? What would it look like in your ideal world?
- If you could develop healthier boundaries, what would be possible in your life?
Sources & influences
This article is informed by my professional training, lived experience in trauma recovery, ongoing study, professional experience, and the works of trusted authors and organizations in mental health and relationships.
Center for Right Relationships (2012). Organization & relationship systems coaching training [in-person training curriculum]. Center for Right Relationships.
Riso, W. (2006). Los límites del amor: Hasta dónde amarte sin renunciar a lo que soy [The limits of love: How to love without renouncing who I am]. Editorial Norma.
Whitfield, C. L. (2010). Healing the child within: Discovery and recovery for adult children of dysfunctional families (Recovery Classics Edition). Simon & Schuster.
Katherine, A. (1994). Boundaries: Where you end and I begin: How to recognize and set healthy boundaries. Hazelden Publishing
